Home Up

With a nod to Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a ham if...

bulletRobert, KE4MCL:
bullet1) you've argued with the waiter over a 0.25 overcharge
bullet2) you've picked up a computer on the side of the road while on a date
bullet3) you're significant other sits in the back and radios ride in the front
bullet4) birds call your car the grim reaper because of all the antennas
bullet5) you own a few weather stations
bullet6) you own more HT's than hands
bullet7) you shop for a piece of land to hold an antenna tower that coincidently has a
house on it
bullet8) you're neighbors think you're a fed
bullet9) the cops pull you over because they want to see the inside of the car
bullet10) you order drive through before getting to the sign
bullet11) you get excited over bad weather
bullet12) you have a skywarn sticker on your back window
bullet13) you keep track of solar cycles on a calendar
bullet14) you go to a tailgate and there isn't a football fan in sight
bullet15) free fleas are a good thing
bullet16) talking about a radiating element makes your buddies giggle
bullet17) you got upset when the guy in "frequency" transmitted via his receiver.


bulletRay, KD4BBM
bulletYou refer to TV stations by call sign, not channel number.
bulletYou frequent RadioShack but would deny it to anyone who asks.
bulletYou know 276- is the start of part number for semiconductors at
bulletYou give directions based on towers instead of landmarks
bulletYou know 'scanner' is a radio device, not a document device
bulletYou know 'dish' is a type of antenna, not something you serve food on.
bulletYou know 'microwave' is medium, not something you cook food in.
bulletYou think an upside to gaining weight is more belt space for radios
bulletYou know your home's GPS coordinates down to the minute
bulletYou have more waypoints in your GPS than phone numbers in your cell
bulletYou can adapt any connector to any other connector (but it might
involve 20 or more adapters in between)
bulletYou buy a new car based on its antenna mounting possibilities
bulletYou've answered the question `what's your address?' with four octets.
bulletYour UPS has a UPS
bulletYour TV antenna transmits
bulletA tall building without antennas on top is just plain ugly.
bulletEven your friends know your car's license plate number
bulletYou immediately think of `tower' when someone says the
word `erection'.
bulletYou actually know the difference between baud and bits per second
bulletBad Boys Rape Our Young Girls Behind Victory Garden Walls makes you
think of numbers.
bulletYou've tested a 9 volt battery with your tongue
bulletYou think a good B+ is better than an A
bulletYou own more Radar guns than Radar detectors
bulletYou've sat in a hot car on the radio to talk to someone you could
have called on the phone from your air-conditioned house.


bulletBrandon, N4BGW
bulletYou know you're a ham if you wear a DCAT Search & Rescue shirt to school,
and only 1 other person out of 3600 know what the hell DCAT is!
bulletYou also know you're a ham if you are that one person that knows!
bulletYou know you're a ham if you like things on eBay with >1 Min. listed next to
bulletYou also know you're a ham if that thing with the >1 Min. is something you
will never use but like the price!
bulletYou know you're a ham if you tuck your radio into bed.
bulletYou know you're a ham if you know the local police frequencies down to the
ten-thousandeth and PL's.
bulletYou know you're a ham if your idea of fun is playing on radio towers.
bulletYou know you're a ham if you have your work radio frequencies programmed
into your HT, for those who are skinny and don;t have much belt room.
bulletYou know you're a ham if you can use a radio to make a phone call.
bulletYou know you're a ham (or related to one) if you go into severe depression
and self-denial without reading your email for a day!

Have some more ideas?  Please send them to the webmaster.


    South Florida FM Association, 2003   

National Homeland Security Knowledgebase